Sunday, October 4, 2015



 This RV is slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

I don't go crazy. I am Crazy! I just go normal from time to time.

Silence is Golden But Duct Tape Is Silver

I know the voices in my head aren't real - But sometimes their Ideas are just absolutely Awesome

My Dad would swear and then say "Excuse My French". One Day the Teacher Asked if anyone could speak a foreign Language and I Raised My Hand.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

you know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

You never really learn to curse until you learn to drive.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

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